proud, proud, pride.

 

do you ever have those moments when you’re utterly and completely confused with your life? been there done that.

but, then you experience these lasting moments of sheer and unmitigated clarity? well, tonight i watched the man i love, live his dream. it was beautiful.                              and ya know what? there was one overwhelming emotion undeniably seen all over my face: pride.

 

 

                                                                                                                                                     his talent and heart overwhelm me. he’s my other. and i’m proud.

way to go, beetle. i love that pinto will daily get to experience your kindness, creativity, talent and love for us. you are what He planned. for me. and for pinto.            we love you.

xoxo.

check out their band: Muir  

 

twenty-three, synonymous with…

eek!

so, it kind of just hit me recently. ow! this actually might hurt. i mean, why the heck didn’t that cross my mind before? mmm, probably because God’s timing is best and He knows when i’m ready to hear something. and wouldn’t you know, just as the fear starts to settle in one, of my besties, over at his girlsent me an incredible article?! you see, she gets me. and she listens to the big guy. not only that, i’m a research, left-brained gal and legit sources of info are totally up my alley. again, she gets me. and so does my guy up there.

 and it’s a fo sho thing that now was the timing for me to read and hear this. #timinglikewhoa

privacy: labor style.

 

it’s less about the article. and more about the timing. the article meant a lot, but letting go of my fear, meant more.

it’s incredible how faith works…really, just believe. don’t stop. that’s all there’s to it.

so to my little sugar snap, your mama hopes you’ll learn the first time: let it go.    he’s always got our back…if we believe. side note, your karate chops or frequent Pliés  at this moment, say you agree : )

xoxo,

jacq

p.s. for you mamas, how do you feel about the article? read and comment back!

 

twenty-two, tumbles and all.

so, i must say it gets hard to remember that a tiny, adorable, & little nugget kicking and tumbling all around is normal. it also must be said, that to me, these are treasured moments. it’s like secret momma and me time. something that no one else on earth will ever get to share with pinto. and whenever i say something opinionated to j and pinto kicks, i let j know that means the babe agrees with me : )

i’m blessed. pinto might be an active kicker or a tiny dancerina but certainly hasn’t caused one ounce of morning sickness, nausea, or anything. and as much of a blessing as that is, i find myself getting more and more excited to eat up that sweet baby face and for it be to “time”. it also doesn’t hurt that things i once frequently enjoyed (sandwiches, sushi, and vino) can come back into my life : )

if that face isn’t edible, neither is chocolate

xoxo,

jacq

fifteen.

well, 15 weeks later and there’s definitely a bump.

the good news with bumps: it no longer can be confused for an incredible beer gut.

for all you readers dying to know…

morning sickness? zero.

nausea? zilch.

cravings? lemony desserts. soda. anything carby.

mood swings? pre & post. aka always. 🙂

and in summary: i’ve cried more than ever before.

i have to say, i don’t see a glow yet. but i don’t hate pregnancy. not at all. the most annoying part has been this kind of bad aftertaste i get in my mouth sometimes…and sometimes i’m queasy and emotional (not like nausea) but in the sense that the only thing that will make me happy is you’ve got mailor julie & julia with  a side of alfredo rigatoni.

so, that’s all for now.

for your viewing pleasure…please enjoy my husband doing his best job to capture  a photo of me and pinto:)

 

 

 

look how the pinto grew from just 2 weeks ago…

13 weeks

xoxo

-jacq

the truth.

the truth is, it was mother’s day. and i was scared. that little app kept alerting me that something should have happened six days ago, that frankly, hadn’t.

the truth then was, i had to take it. ’twas the longest, scariest 3 minutes. i grabbed it, palm over the results and gave it j.

“you’ve gotta look. i can’t do it.”

his response: “are you sh&%%*$@! me?” while holding his arms wide open for an incredible and needed embrace with a beautiful smile.

to say i was shocked…well, that’s not justice. i was also a little sad.

you see, this was not MY timing. and I didn’t think it was possible. I was not ready. we’re not ready. but how ca— a continual flock of negative thoughts entered my mind. will my parents even be excited?

gah, it’s like i never learn. it’s not about me.

the truth is i have pcos. so really, i didn’t think this was possible. in fact, 4-5 weeks earlier i went to the doctor (you know…that one) and she confirmed with some blood/lab results that i do in fact have pcos and it would be probably a little harder for us. but, there were medications so not to worry and when we were ready, i’d give them a try. so no, i wasn’t on anything. i was having terrible side effects and it wasn’t worth it…that coupled with pcos led me to believe it would be a journey for us.

the day the pcos was confirmed. i cried. i hurt. so badly. i knew i was meant to be a mama. i did. but then i felt this rush of peace…this small, still, and warm voice that said…

“i’ve got this” and so, i. let. it. go.

and oh, did He.

at week 7, we created a special memory. we went home to share this news with our family…who were shocked. as we ordered drinks, the two of us stood at the front of the table. we had cards for our family members. inside each card was a little note from baby bean to that grandparent.

i’ll always remember their gasps of excitement.

the following week we spent there with our family was incredible.

we were are blessed…literally beyond imagination.

later on, i apologized to myself and others. i just thought i needed to. some have such trouble in this arena and who was i to be unthankful? i now have such assurance that this is what is meant to be.

i know. and i have the strength and protection and provision from a mighty creator to cover everything…along with an incredible partner in crime/guitar-serenading/always faithful j.

so, even if you’ve been told:

“it can’t”

“it won’t”

“it’s too hard”

just believe in what you know is true. be at peace. pray for it to happen and most importantly…

believe it will.

and i’ll believe and pray with you.

hope this brings you hope.

all my love,

jacq

some of the special people that were that to soak in that memory

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a year: in review

last year, we were busy.

we had a rehearsal dinner

got married

went on an amazing honeymoon

came back home and had an extended honeymoon 

celebrated our first month together

i became a mrs. nigrelli at school

crazy/weird/and now, so normal…

saw j’s most favorite band ever play a REALLY late night show

(on a school night:)

meme and pappy came by for a visit!

had the most memorable air plane ride home with two besties

to celebrate daniel & molly’s wedding!

we became frequent flyers at house concerts
(something j had dreamed of for years!)

cara got married!

and, we acted silly.

carly, who’s like an older sister, got married.

and was stunning.

we had our first house concert. in our living room.

we celebrated thanksgiving, just us.

we got our first christmas tree.

i celebrated the sweetness of new family…

as my dad married the ever so sweet and perfect for him, Susan.

we celebrated our six  month anniversary with 23 family members at disney world.

laugh so you won’t cry 🙂

we came back to nashville, for work, and had a Christmas for two.

and I practiced tablescaping.

i enjoyed late night serenades by my husband.

we indulged so much that i made us go vegan. it lasted 2 days.

but we did get healthier! 

we moved. into the coolest apartment and neighborhood, ever.

j spoiled me rotten for my birthday.

i started appreciating small things.

like snow dusts on our new porch.

his truly creative nature came out with incredibly thoughtful gifts.

j played where 6 months before we saw his favorite band.

a cool moment.

birthday boy got baseball happy.

we took the bus on downtown dates.

it made me happy we lived in a city, yet yearn for more city life.

and then: the best and scariest news of all: the pinto. <– that’s a link 🙂

thankful for our blessings.

we have so much.

xo.

nine. well, almost ten.

well, nine weeks of ripening and several changes later…

the pinto (as we’ve decided to call it today) has changed from the size of a sweet pea, to a blueberry, to a raspberry, and most recently to an olive.

i sing my praises high for lack of nausea or any sicknesses related to the morning:)

while pinto hasn’t totally changed our lives yet, i am most always researching and learning about the greatest, latest, neatest, research based blah-dee-blahs.

you know, the things they say we’re going to need.

in all this, my hope and goal is directed towards simplicity.

by divine birth i, myself, am not a simple creature so, i aspire to create a little being who will want and be less consumed than i.

here’s daily prayers that pinto will be 🙂

xoxo

jacq

p.s. as soon as i can find an outfit that i want to take pictures in consistently over the next seven months, i’ll share…

four words.

yesterday was a big day for these two nutty, nervous big kids.

not only did we meet our amazing mid-wife, but THEN they scheduled our ultrasound. whoa, this is real.

she simply said ” i see a baby”.

my words few, his tears rare.

overwhelmed with peace and grace from our Holy Father.

1 perfect heartbeat later...and i’m still a wreck.

xo,

jacq+j

small packages

**updated** sorry for the faulty link, dearies.

they say great things come in small packages…

well, a little over a year ago I got a super special present in a beautiful, black box.

i guess that boy meets girl, falls in love, gets married, and has ??? maybe it’s true?!

unexpected as it may be, it’s a sweet gift. to be treasured 🙂

looky, looky…

love ya!

j+j

ps so much more to come!

never in a million years

there comes a time, apparently, when you look outward. out of yourself and into the world…

i haven’t been looking outward. not for quite awhile. well, scratch that. i have been looking out…just not at the right things.

well, with some incredible prayer and peace. j and i have made a decision. a decision that is about the needs of our loved ones.

we are moving to florida. we are. and it’s crazy. i have never.never.never.ever. wanted to move back to bradenton. even more so for my hubs.

in fact, that was our deal. part of what made us, us. we wanted the same thing. and as much as we LOVE our family…we just didn’t feel like bradenton was for us… well, God spoke. through love, logic, and opened doors. i mean, y’all. it doesn’t even make sense…the things that are opening to us are dddddddivine. opened only by and through Him.

well, there’s so much more to say. we’ve got more big news coming…

til then.

all our love,

j+j